A Box Of Letters-from 2007 (edited for content)

I fell in love with a box of letters full of empty promises written, but not kept

Shattered dreams, plans never fulfilled

From the moment you walked through those gates toward your freedom

your singular goal was to break me

I remember you asked me once if I could imagine the pain of waiting, hoping, fearing, hurting

for an entire month

Well, I ask you this now……

Can you imagine the pain of sleepless nights

Waiting for the sound of your key fumbling in the lock

The fear of waking next to you, not knowing which version of you it was

The kick in the gut from your consistent character assassinations

The lies, the girls, the guys, the drugs, the humiliation……for a year & a half?

See-you never saw in you what I did, guess I was just looking too hard for something I wished was there,

because I sure never saw him, once you got your freedom back.

I fell in love with you like they did back in those poorly, overacted WWII movies

But the reality was 180 degrees different than that fantasy.

Nursing your wounds after bar brawls & gutter falls

Forgiving things unforgivable, ultimate betrayals, deal breakers….time & time again

Allowing you to steal my soul, like a succubus in the night

Let me get this straight….you wouldn’t suck my (!!^

While you sucked away my light

my spirit

my soul

Immature & premature-a combination I could no longer fake enjoyment of

& while we’re on the subject of sex, what there was of it

Short, cold & passionless

No soft fingers caressing my skin into goosebumps

No taking the time to know every inch of each others bodies

Cold & heartless, that’s what I got

I guess it was easier to imagine I was one of the many you craved & indulged in.

I grew tired of being your receptacle

Shit, my vibrator cared more about pleasing me than you ever did.

One last question, before I let you go…

If I truly knew you better than anyone, including yourself, how come I could never figure you out?

Anyway….

As the sun sets on our “fairy-tale romance”

The bottom line is simple

I was merely in love with a box of letters